Old Wives Tales

I am at 19 weeks on Tuesday which means next Tuesday we get to find out the gender of the baby. I can't wait! When my friend Erin was close to finding out what her baby was, she wrote a fun post on her blog about old wives tales and the "results." I asked her if I could copy that idea and she said it was okay, so here it goes. Here are a few old wives tales...

1. Carrying High or Low

The Test: If you are carrying high: girl. If you are carrying low: boy.
The Result: GIRL. I guess. I am not very big yet but all the woman at work say I am carrying high because I can still wear normal jeans. I think that maybe my jeans are just lower cut than theirs used to be.

2. Fetal Heart Rate

The Test: If the heat rate is above 140: girl. The the rate is below 140: boy.
The Result: GIRL. It was 160.

3. Cravings

The Test: If you are craving sweet stuff: girl. Salty/savory: boy.
The Result: BOY. I don't know. I don't really have cravings but I am wanting less sweets than usual - however - I think I may get my fill at work.

4. Chinese Birth Chart

The Test: Follow the chart.


The Result: BOY.

5. Complexion

The Test: If your face is breaking out: girl. If it smooth and clean: boy.
The Result: GIRL. Why can't this one be boy?!

6. Morning Sickness

The Test: Sick: girl. Not sick: boy
The Result: BOY. Thank goodness! This pregnancy has been so much better.

Overall result: split 3/3. So who knows?!

What do I think I am having? My gut says BOY, mostly because this pregnancy has been so different. I read one place that women who were pregnant and had no previous knowledge of the gender guessed the right gender 71% of the time. I knew Madeline was a girl. Maybe my instinct will be right again.

Whatever is in there, boy or girl, we are very excited and will let you know May 31!

What do you think? BOY or GIRL?

Madeline's 2nd Birthday!

Today is Madeline's 2nd Birthday. I can't believe my baby was born two years ago! I decided it would be fun to have an Olivia themed birthday, since Olivia is her favorite book, doll, and cartoon. I made her cake yesterday and decorated it today. I am really proud of how it turned out. I sometimes feel a bit intimidated having a sister-in-law who is a pastry chef and makes beautiful cakes, as seen on her blog. (I know she would never judge, but still...) Anyways Liz, I hope this does the cake world some justice.





These are the invitations I made...

Madeline received a lot of cool presents. She really liked her Olivia figurines...

and she REALLY liked her cool sunglasses. She became very uninterested in opening any other presents after she got the glasses.


I just wanted to show her ringlets with this picture. I love them but I'm sure she will hate curly hair when she becomes a teenager.


After presents we had cake. We also had pie to celebrate my aunt Jen's birthday as well as my cousin Ally's birthday.


This was the inside of the cake...


I love my two year old!

None that Trust in Him Shall be Desolate

Ian gave a wonderful talk today in church about the atonement and the hope that it can bring. I asked him if we could post it on our blog because I thought it would be a great way to honor our Savior on this Easter. I hope that it can touch some of you the way it has me... Happy Easter!

None that Trust in Him Shall be Desolate

On this Easter Sunday when we celebrate the Savior’s conquering of death – both spiritual and physical – I wanted to talk about what that victory can do for us in our personal lives. I want to speak about the hope that this gospel brings; specifically, I want to address the new hope that can come into the lives of those lost in sin or despair. Echoing Peter, I would like to “give an answer to every man asking a reason for the hope that is in me” (1 Peter 3: 15).

Hope is often spoken of in peripheral terms, often as a third wheel to faith and charity; here I would like to make it the central focus (See Moroni 7). The hopes we carry can vary: they can be proximate, or far-reaching, they can be about trivial things, or the yearnings held closest to our souls. Today the hope spoken of will be what Elder Maxwell called “that ultimate hope” (Neal A Maxwell, Brightness of Hope [Oct 1994 General Conference]). So what is this hope? Earlier this month Elder Steven E. Snow gave what I consider the most concise definition of hope available. He states that “In the gospel of Jesus Christ, hope is the desire of His followers to gain eternal salvation through the Atonement of the Savior. Our hope in the Atonement empowers us with eternal perspective. Such perspective allows us to look beyond the here and now on into the promise of the eternities.” (Steven E Snow, Hope [April 2011 GC]). To this may I add my personal feelings that hope can only be accessed through the doorway of the atonement, the pairing of the two is not optional. Hope is able to extend beyond this life because its life source is eternal. Elder Maxwell reminded us that “real hope does not automatically spring eternal unless it is connected with eternal things” (Maxwell, 1994). In moving past the atonement to a broader level, we cannot expect to have a lasting hope if we do not know or understand the plan of salvation, which is a plan of mercy, happiness, and redemption (See 2 Nephi 2, 9 and Alma 42).

Having set the stage, I would like to discuss five things I feel we must know in order to obtain and keep that hope requisite to gain eternal life (See Ether 12:32).

First, we must know that God loves us, and has a plan for us. We must know that this world in which we live – contrary to an overabundance of evidence – was not a half-baked experiment that our Heavenly Father has abandoned. I testify here that God loves us with an eternal and deep love that we cannot fully comprehend, even on our best days. On Easter, the day where we celebrate the great physical manifestation of that love, I wish to say that one of the great truths of this restored gospel is that we have a personal Father in Heaven that is eternally invested in our lives and its hardships. We catch a glimpse of this love in the Pearl of Great Price where Enoch, seeing in a vision God weeping, asks “How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?” Responding, “The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency; And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood; But behold, their sins shall be upon the heads of their fathers; Satan shall be their father, and misery shall be their doom; and the whole heavens shall weep over them, even all the workmanship of mine hands; wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?” (Moses 7:29, 32, 33, & 37). To have ultimate hope, we must know this great truth. We cannot help but increase our hope when we realize that we have such a fully committed heavenly parent.

Secondly, we must know that without the atonal sacrifice of our Savior, we are lost and without recourse in our desire to return to God. Because of the Fall of Adam as well as what Elder Bruce C. Hafen calls “acts of independence”, a broader category of action than clear sin, we find ourselves separated from God by a chasm that we cannot close ourselves (Hafen, The Broken Heart). To be restored to our promised place, we must follow the path that Christ lovingly paved. Alma, in his parental pleadings to his wayward son, reminds us all that mercy cannot rob justice (See Alma 42:22-25). If bound strictly by the law and justice of God with mercy being removed from the equation, redemption is a lost cause. In this fallen world, despair – the antithesis of hope – is the default setting we often find ourselves in. This despair is inextricably tied to sin (See Moroni 10:22). Against both of these we must continually push.

Thirdly, we must know that Christ suffered and paid the price for our sins, afflictions, foibles, and infirmities, and we must trust this atonement. The prophet Isaiah provided us in chapter 53 the great messianic prophecy of the redemptive love and sacrifice of the Savior: “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:3-5). In this selfless act, love is the abounding principle. James E. Faust testified that “the overwhelming message of the Atonement is the perfect love the Savior has for each and all of us. It is a love which is full of mercy, patience, grace, equity, long-suffering, and, above all, forgiving. The evil influence of Satan would destroy any hope we have in overcoming our mistakes. He would have us feel that we are lost and that there is no hope” (James E Faust, The Atonement: Our Greatest Hope [April 2001 GC]). Contrary to the desires of Satan, this knowledge should provide reason for ultimate hope. We have hope because through this atonement Christ “obtained a more excellent ministry, by how much also he is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises” (Hebrews 8:6). While I perhaps easily speak of this hope and testimony of atonement, it is not something that we gain in such a light fashion. For many of us, coming to a more complete witness and appreciation of the Lord’s greatest gift will require us to join in the “fellowship of his suffering” (See Philippians 3:10). The accomplishments of Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane were neither cheap nor shallow; thus, any attempt of our own to use the gift of the atonement will be of a necessity a deep experience.

Forth, we must know that the atonement allows for genuine change of self and being. In preparation for this talk I skimmed a book of Amy’s called Believing Christ. One of the author’s mains points in that there is a distinction between having a testimony of the Savior’s existence and ministry and believing that we can, through the atonement, change in order to become “celestial citizens” (See Dallin H Oaks, The Challenge to Become [Oct. 2000 GC]). The latter point is more important, and its realization in our lives allows us to move beyond barriers we were born with, those placed before us by previous sins, and those put in front of us by others’ actions. If we are to ask ourselves to what end was the atonement wrought, the answer would be humanity’s ability to gain experience while not being eternally punished for those mistakes made in progress. If we speak of the atonement and do not use it, are we any better than those that draw near unto the Lord with their lips, but having their hearts far from him? (See Isaiah 29:13)

Lastly, and this is directly connected to the previous element, we must know that Christ understands our sufferings and heartaches, and will not leave us comfortless. Jesus Christ understands our sufferings because of the perfect life he led and the infinite suffering he experienced in the garden and on the cross. The great Christian author C.S. Lewis affirmed: “No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is… A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means—the only complete realist.” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity Ch. 11). The combination of His perfect life and infinite sacrifice make Him uniquely qualified to command us to put our trust in Him and take His yoke upon us, and He has done just that (See Matthew 11:29). Christ experienced alone the worst of what we will ever face, and it would be wise to note that He did so voluntarily out of love, so that we will never have to be alone when we face our trials. As Elder Holland so eloquently testified, “For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone” (Jeffrey R Holland, None Were with Him, [April 2009 GC]). Knowing that our greatest source of aid in this life can totally empathize with all that we go through allows for hope because we can see how we will work past our greatest trials; while we may not see when we will overcome, we will see how, and by whom.

There are the five things I feel we all must know in order to have ultimate hope through the atonement. Time does not allow me to go into any detail, but I would like to briefly list the sources from which we can continually garner this hope in our lives. Jacob instructs us that the scriptures provide reasons for hope, as we see the changes in the lives of those touched by the power of God (See Jacob 4:6, Romans 15:4). Paul and a host of other prophets and apostles tell us that the Holy Ghost is the proximate source of all the hope we feel in our lives (Romans 15:13, Moroni 8:26). Our memories of past dealings with the Lord and the atonement continually buoy our hope for a better tomorrow (2 Nephi 4:19-20). Finally, Paul tells us in Ephesians of the powerful reminder covenants are of the greatness of the eternities before us (Ephesians 2:12). All of these sources testify of God’s plan for His children and the Savior’s redemptive power. Most importantly, they speak of the Father and Son’s refusal to give up on the lost and those whose “hands hang down” (See D&C 81:5).

Having this ultimate hope can bring great power and promise to our lives. It enables us restore order and peace in lives disrupted by sin and challenges not foreseen in happier days. It enables us to do things beyond our normal capacity. Elder Snow observed that “This ‘perfect brightness of hope’ of which Nephi speaks is the hope in the Atonement, eternal salvation made possible by the sacrifice of our Savior. This hope has led men and women through the ages to do remarkable things” (Snow, 2011). Hope sparks within us a desire to deepen our connection to the Savior and all that he offers (See Alma 22:18). Most importantly, ultimate hope enables us to let our will be swallowed up by the Lord’s; when this is done, we become the Children of God that He desires us to be (See Mosiah 15:7). And why can we trust these promises? Because we can trust the promise-maker: “Because Christ’s eyes were unfailingly fixed on the future, He could endure all that was required of Him, suffer as no man can suffer except it be ‘unto death,’ look upon the wreckage of individual lives and the promises of ancient Israel lying in ruins around Him and still say then and now, ‘Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.’ How could He do this? How could He believe it? Because He knows that for the faithful, things will be made right soon enough. He is a King; He speaks for the crown; He knows what can be promised. He knows that ‘the Lord … will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. … For the needy shall not alway[s] be forgotten: the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever.’ He knows that ‘the Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate’” (Jeffrey R Holland, An High Priest of Good Things to Come [Oct 1999 GC]). The promises of the Lord and ultimate hope can be ours, but only if there is nothing else we want more. Like that pearl of great price, we must give all else that we have to obtain it (Matthew 13:45-46). I testify this Easter morning that hope in Christ is a real and powerful force, and it is powerful because it is related to Christ. It is well to remember that it was on this day millennia ago that hope caused the apostles of the Lord to run to the empty tomb (See Luke 24:8-12). The Lord lives, He loves us, and wants us to be like Him; this is His mission and my testimony that I leave with you today.

Happy Birthday Mama Payne!

We just wanted to publicly tell Mama/Grandma Payne happy birthday. She is a great woman whom we all look up to. She is an awesome mother and grandmother and we love her so much!

These are the top ten things we love about Margaret...

10. She sends us treats :)
9. She's an excellent human weight when her sons need a bicep workout.
8. She is an awesome croquet player.
7. She becomes comically unhinged after 9 pm.
6. She is fun!
5. She raised a wonderful son (and family).
4. She is a great example of living what she believes.
3. She is a great example of service.
2. She always makes everyone feel welcome and loved. She never judges and is always kind.
1. She has the best freshman yearbook picture ever...it makes us all feel better about ours.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
WE LOVE YOU!!!

My Little Big Girl

We got faster internet a couple weeks ago so I decided I don't really have an excuse not to update our blog a little more often. I just wanted to share how BIG Madeline is getting...

Now that she is a big girl, she LOVES to cook. Whenever we cook anything, she has to pull the stool over so she can stand on it and "help."(Don't think we are bad parents. We know there are all sorts of levels of dangerous in this picture. We watch her very closely.)
Cheese is her favorite food. (Again, we know, probably not the safest.)


Okay, I made the cake. She's not THIS advanced, but she put the candles on.


Madeline is also a big girl because she lets me do her hair better now. This is what it normally looks like...(sorry it's blurry)

A few weeks ago she sat very nicely while I braided it. I love love love braids on little girls. She looked so grown up!


Another reason Madeline is a big girl now is because she is going to be a BIG SISTER in October! This is how she reacted when we saw my friend Danielle's baby in December. I know she will be a good older sister. She loves everything related to babies.

My official due date is October 18. So far I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER than when I was pregnant with Madeline. I have felt a little nauseous and threw up once (tmi?) but with Madeline I was throwing up every day the whole nine months. I am more tired than last time but I also wake up at 4:30 every morning, work all day, then chase an almost two year old around when I get home. Maybe being tired is to be expected.

We are very excited to welcome in a new little boy/girl to our family soon!

Grandma Moss

Dear Madeline,

My Grandma Moss died last week, on February 4, 2011. Since I wrote you about my Great Grandma, I decided to write about what I have learned from my Grandma. She was a wonderful woman whom I loved very much. I was asked to speak at her funeral so I shared this letter as my talk.

I learned that juice is always better when mixed with other drinks -- but water is the best drink of all.

I learned that being old is liberating, because you can say whatever you want and everybody just passes it off as you being old (that's what she told me). For example, my cousin Peter, his friend Mike, my friend Rachel, and I went to California during my freshman year of college to visit Grandma for Thanksgiving. We played one of her favorite games, Therapy, which always turned out awkward. During the game, she commented that Rachel and Peter should "get to know each other better". I was definitely thinking it, but never would have said anything. It was awkward for the rest of us. It turned out well though...they got married!

I learned how to paint -- but not even close to as well as Grandma could.

I learned how to appreciate fall and fall colors. She loved the fall season. She took me and Emily on a cruise up the eastern seaboard one October when I was a teenager just so she could see all of the fall leaves.

I learned how to properly set a table. NEVER use the dessert fork as the dinner fork.

I learned what happens to a girl when she grows up. I was nine or ten years old and we were on a drive to California with her. I didn't get it.

I learned that sleeping is always the best remedy -- even if your bed is a bench at Legoland.

I learned that pie is always better if eaten before dinner, especially at Marie Callenders.

More importantly, Grandma Moss taught me that family is the most important thing in this life. She always remembered and acknowledged everything we did. She sent cards for all occasions. She taught me that our ancestors are just as important. She was always recording and doing family history. One time she took me and my sister Emily to the Family History Library. We spent the whole day trying to find an ancestor named John Hocking. She still hasn't found him. In December she told me that when she died she was going to find him and chew him out for not helping her find him. Well Grandma -- now you are going to have to help us.

I learned how to be a strong, independent woman. She as well educated (had her Master's degree) and had a good career teaching. One time Emily and I were singing the Barry Manilow song "Can't smile without you" because we liked it. She scolded us and told us that we had better NEVER let a man dictate how we feel about ourselves and our lives.

Lastly, Grandma taught me how to be a good, faithful member of the church. She had a strong testimony and way always doing service when she could. She served in the Los Angeles temple for several years. She would express her love of the church, of Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ every time I talked to her.

I will miss Grandma a lot but know that she is so much happier now. She is with her sweetheart and rid of her sick, broken body. I am thankful for all I have been able to learn from her, and I hope that I can pass it on to you, Madeline.

Love, Mom

Grandma Moss holding you after your blessing. She was so proud of you!

Great Great Grandma Beazer

Dear Madeline,

Your Great Great Grandma Edith Beazer died today. She was 94 years old. Since you won't remember her, I wanted to share some things with you that she has taught me.

The first thing I think of is that she taught me how to sew (basic sewing). She used to always make us "grandma jammies" every year. Usually warmer ones for winter and lighter ones for summer. When I got a little older she would let me pick out the fabric and then let me help sew the pjs.

Grandma Beazer also taught me about service. Making all of her great grandchildren pjs is just one example of service. She was always helping others - even being as old as she was. She always had food on her deck for people who had less money. She would get the day old bakery items from the grocery stores and leave it out for whoever wanted it. It became a running joke in the family because if anyone came to visit she would keep all the "good stuff." When I was little I was excited about all of the goodies. When I got old enough to check the dates on food, I was less excited.

Grandma taught me about being thrifty. She was very careful with her money. I remember one time I was peeling potatoes at her house and she scolded me for peeling off too much of the potato with the skin. She had food stored from decades ago (another running joke in the family). One time your great uncle Greg and I were drinking soda at her house. He had a grape soda which he said tasted funny. He looked at the date and saw that it had been expired for more than five years. She had enough fabric in her basement to supply a fabric store because she would buy it when it was on a very good sale.

She was also a great example of missionary service. She and your great great grandpa went on four missions together. Your great grandpa and grandma have continued with this family heritage with three missions of their own. Your dad and I want to follow their examples someday too.

Along with missionary service she has taught me about church service and testimony. She would tell me every time I saw her about how the church has blessed her. She would tell me her testimony of the restored gospel. She served in the temple weekly and did thousands of extractions for genealogy. This is when she was in her 80's!

The thing that your great great grandma taught me that I will remember the most is that sometimes you have to choose to be happy. I went to visit her one day when I was in college and I was kind of complaining about some of the things that I had to do. She stopped me and told me about a period in her life when she was unhappy and she realized that she could choose to be miserable or choose to be happy. I have always tried to remember this when I am unhappy - that I can be happy if I want to be. It's up to me.

Your great great grandma Beazer will be missed but I am not sad because of our knowledge of life after death. She is with her husband and other family and we will see her again someday because we have been sealed as a family in the temple for eternity.

Grandma has more than 100 people that have descended from her and grandpa so far. She used to always say that her whole family was full of "such neat people." Well, I think she was a neat woman and hope that we can be like her.

Love, Mom

you and great great grandma when you were 11 days old